Random Thoughts

I have recently been in the zone with regards to my various writing projects, so unfortunately I have neglected the blog. Don't fret my friends, here's a little exercise I like to do occasionally to get the ole brain ticking. I give myself 5 minutes to write down every thought or idea that pops into my head. Here she blows:

Tiger Woods sucks at apologizing for cheating on his wife. He went to Stanford? He can barely read. If he had just been faithful to his wife, he could have spared the entire world the pain of that 14 minutes of indecipherable blabber. OOHHHH..BLOG SHOUT OUT!

I'm addicted to coffee. Do they make patches for that?

Bob Costas and Stephen Colbert = Definitely toupee wearers.

I'm going to write a book of songs and hide it with directions to give it to a talented artist to use after I die, that way I can either a.) avoid the horrific critical reaction or b.) be classified alongside Tupac, Jimi Hendrix, and Dimebag Darrell. That's 3 classy gents. Also, if the music sucks, they can blame it on the performer.

I had a dream last night that Jerry Stiller and Wanda Sykes got married. I have no clue what that means.

Tracy Morgan stopped trying so hard and now he actually is funny. I stopped trying hard about 2 years ago and now I'm uneducated and unemployed.

I'm starting to feel like Jeremy Piven's character in PCU.

This cliche "Cardiac Kids" nickname I've heard the Ole Miss basketball team labeled with twice tonight is entirely unsuitable. They should be the "Band-aids don't resolve BLUNT TRAUMA TO THE HEAD!" Kids. If you don't get that metaphor, sorry. If you do, sorry. Seriously, I'm pretty sure my cerebral sinuses are bleeding, I just haven't noticed yet.

This is my 6th cup of coffee today.

Do old people always have caramels in their pocket?

I think Columbia might be putting a little of that magic nose candy in my coffee. This stuff is exceptional. I'm too high right now to determine whether I'm high or not.

Tiger should have taken a hint from Sarah Palin and written "I'm sorry" on his hand.

I've probably urinated 20 times today.

The no-smoking in bars law must really increase the heating bills at local watering holes. Local establishments seem excessively hot at the moment, and like everything else, I'm blaming the smokers.

Why is it so cold in Mississippi? We have either freezing cold or 100% humidity 300 days out of the year.

What's the difference in figure skating and ice dancing? Why are there 4 brother/sister pairs in ice dancing? Creepy. The fact that I know there are 4 sibling ice-dancing pairs, creepy.

Thankfully 5 minutes has passed... I need a refill.